A Spoon Cannot Get More Action Than Emma
by JMolover13
Summary: Regina has a spoon, a spoon that Emma Swan is trying to not be jealous of, but she's failing miserably.


Emma got a late night call from Ruby saying that she needed Emma to take care of Leroy. She hung up the phone and after a good yawn she heaved herself up of the bed and shoved her feet in the legs of her jeans. Then, grabbing her boots that were right next to her discarded jeans, she shoved her feet in those as well.

She felt Regina's hand on her back, then felt the bed dip and Regina suction herself to her back, "Where do you think you're going?"

"The diner… Leroy's drunk again. Ruby can't get him under control; I need to take him in." She whispered as she rubbed her face to wake herself up, "So much for an early evening…" She shook her head.

Regina knew how tired Emma was. She wanted to do her job for her, but she knew that Emma wouldn't have it. "Would you like me to go with you?"

"Nah, it's fine, Babe. Go back to sleep." She turned and kissed her before she stoop and pulled her jeans up the rest of the way and fastened them.

"I don't mind—"

"No. You stay here. You get some sleep." She stated as she took the hair tie on her wrist and pulled her hair into the messiest of buns. She walked to their closet and pulled a 'Storybrooke High' hoodie from its hanger and over her head (they both got shirts and other Storybrooke High gear when Henry entered into high school… they felt it only right). Then she walked back over to her wife and kissed her, "Go back to sleep, Baby…" she said it as sternly as she could with a grin on her face… Regina always made her grin when she was like this… trying to be helpful without actually doing anything because she knew it would piss Emma off. She went to her nightstand and unlocked the drawer to clip her gun to her jeans then leaned over the bed and kissed her again before she walked out of the room.

She quietly made her way downstairs, so as not to disturb Henry and their newest surprises: Charlie and Jackson… granted Charlie was four and Jackson was two now, but they were still the two newest… for now. Emma crept passed all three rooms successfully as she made her way out of the house. She shrugged on her coat as well—it was winter and quite bitter—before she left the mansion.

It took the threat of handcuffs and no drinks for three weeks before they got Leroy to get in the patrol car… and then it took the same threats once more to get him into the station and into a cell. She put water and some painkillers on the floor just outside the cell for Leroy in the morning before she got there to release him. And then she made her way back home.

As she opened the door, she almost screamed when she saw the figure in her foyer. He had her gun almost out of its carrier when she realized it was her wife standing before her in one of her tank tops, which exposed part of her slightly protruding stomach and a pair of boyshorts. "What the hell are you doing? Trying to give me a heart attack?" Emma hissed in the dark.

Regina raised a brow, "Do you always try to commit murder when you almost have a heart attack?"

Emma cocked her head to the side as she shoved the gun back in the carrier and shook her head, "I thought… I didn't know what I thought…" Emma kept shaking her head.

Regina smirked and walked over to her, "You thought that I was someone about to threaten your family… and not having the gift of magic, you resorted to the only for of protection you have." She wrapped her arms around Emma's neck and kissed her, "It's so very charming and gallant of you dear, really." She smirked as she kissed her again.

"What are you doing awake?" Emma asked after a moment of standing in the dark, swaying with her wife.

"I had a hankering for ice cream…" She admitted with a slight guilty grin.

"A hankering, eh?" Emma raised a brow as she shrugged her coat off and hung it on the hall tree.

The brunette nodded and put her hand out in gesture for her to come with her to the kitchen. There, on the table was a half eaten bowl of ice cream. Emma sat in the seat next to the bowl and Regina sat in the chair she had been before Emma got there. The mayor, actually a secret casual comfortable person, leaned back in the almost entirely pushed in chair and put her legs on the table to her knees and held the bowl between her chest and thighs with her hand.

Emma looked in the bowl, noticing the baby spoon and smirked. Regina started using them when they had to get them for Charlie and decided she enjoyed making her desserts last longer. Then the blonde focused on the actual dessert and took a gander as to the flavor, "Chocolate swirl or Chocolate cupcake?"

"Cupcake, of course, darling…" Regina gave her a playful 'duh' look as she took a bite. She held the baby spoon in her mouth a moment and closed her eyes, indulging in the flavor. She pulled it out slowly from her mouth and Emma knew for a fact that the woman was applying extra pressure with her tongue to make sure it came out clean.

God… she was not jealous of a spoon. She couldn't be jealous of a spoon. Then she watched as her wife took another bite… _Yup… Jealous of a God damn spoon… No.. I refuse to be jealous of a spoon. I refuse it._

Regina looked over to her, "Are you alright, darling?"

"Fine." Emma nodded as she leaned in and kissed Regina's cheek. She scooted closer to her and started running her hand up and down the back of Regina's thigh as she watched the woman take another bite.

Regina smirked when this started, "Oh, I understand now." She kept her face from grinning completely, but showed the slightest bit of a smirk.

"Understand what?" Emma asked as she scooted closer and moved to the thigh further away from her.

"Understand your jealousy."

Emma knit her brows, "My jealousy?"

"Mhmm."

"Of what?" Emma asked as if her being jealous was the most ridiculous thing in the world.

"Well… of my spoon of course." Regina gave her a winning smile as she saw her wife begin blushing.

"I am not jealous of a spoon. That's the stupidest thing ever. It's an inanimate object. I am not jealous of inanimate objects."

"Yes. Just like you're not jealous of flirty or handsome men that come within ten feet of my being." Her feet did a bit of a victory dance as Emma slumped down.

"Hey! Every straight guy with eyes is trying to get in your pants! You're a married lady. It was only right that I set them straight."

"By firing a blank and making him soil himself?" Regina gave Emma a look.

"That was one time." Emma argued.

"When it should have never happened! Honestly Emma, your jealousy is a little out of control sometimes."

"No it's not!"

"You're jealous of a spoon." Regina said deadpan as she gave her wife a look.

"No I'm—" She watched Regina prove her argument by taking her last bite of ice cream, "Damn it." She slumped forward, "I'm jealous of a spoon…" She admitted quietly.

Regina smirked, "You're jealous of a spoon." She threw the dish in the general direction of the sink and it magically made it's way carefully over there and rinsed itself out, spoon included.

The brunette turned with the regal sexiness she never lacked and placed her legs on either side of her wife, "You know…" She said as she crab-walked into the blonde's lap, "You don't have to be jealous of the spoon…" She smirked as Emma looked up at her with a pair of puppy eyes.

"I don't?"

Regina shook her head, "Nope…" She said just before she kissed her.

Before Regina could make a move to stand, Emma picked her up and started walking with her towards the stairs, "Good…. I'd hate to be jealous because a spoon got more action with you than I did…"

This made the brunette laugh before she attached herself to the blonde's neck.

"Careful now… If Charlie or Jack ask, 'What's on Momma's neck?' in the morning, you're answering it." She grinned as she shut the door to their room and made it to the bed.

"Nonsense, I'll just heal it before they see." She waggled her brows, letting her wide know that their early turned late night was going to be even later.


End file.
